old poem

Mar. 15th, 2017 06:30 pm
kyleri: (Default)
Something I wrote a while ago & posted elsewhere, figured I'd stick it here at least for archival purposes.



living in the cracks

cracks, crevices, spaces in between
art from trash
things others don’t want
‘but there is beauty here — ‘
beauty, yes, but
things are hard; do not romanticise this

it is hard, painful, ugly
i do not fit
i must bend + contort
myself small
to fit

i do not fit
kyleri: (Default)
The dream i had, i have to record at least some of it...

(TW: roundabout mention of suicide)

I was always me, always the same, aging slowly if at all, but time bent & swayed, it was always within the last hundred years but i lived through so many more years than that. ..

He was born & lived & died, & sometimes we found each other & sometimes we didn't, but we always knew, in the mon ent when eyes met eyes, we knew

I still remember the green of his eyes, so many times i saw him for the first time, again

Sometimes he was so young, barely adult to my apparent age (much less my actual age, whatever that was), but we didn't care

Sometimes he was so old, hair white or gone & the wrinkles of age but the eyes always the same, his eyes

(I remember his eyes)

Once it was so long, so long, & i slipped, i couldn't bear being alone, & i found someone else, someone whose eyes were brown...

When they laid the baby in my arms & i saw his eyes, i knew

(That was the time...i couldn't bear it...I'd thought i couldn't die; i was only wrong once)

(I was...when i came back...it was a very long time until i was anything that could be called 'well')

(If there is such a thing as a supervillain, & there is, there is, i was, i was)

(The irony, given who he was)

I remember the first time, when we were both young ,when we were both born, when he wrnt off to fight, as e so often did, with his team, his friends, his bow in his hands, he kissed me & went

& didn't, didn't come back

I sat & waited for word, but i knew

I knew

They sent the captain to tell me & i remember as he walked up to me, bootherls crunching in the gravel, & i looked up at him & he didn't have to say a word

This is thw part of the story where i might seek out strange magics & unholy things to bargain with, but i did not! I mourned,ni cried, i went on

I did not age

Time...did odd things

I looked into a stranger's eyes & saw his, & i knew

'It's the eyes,' i whisper into his hair as he shakes in my arms, not knowing what's happened to him or how he has recognized me, how he knows me, how a stranger can suddenly mean so much, mean everything to him

'It's always the eyes.'
kyleri: (Default)

may have been the losing side • still not convinced it was the wrong one

$5 from this • & from all my jewelry • will go to the ACLU • cos they’re big damn heroes


materials • the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living


size • the entire piece is 2 3/8″ tall


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: A point-down green triangle with two horizontal yellow stripes & a blue star -- the Browncoats symbol. (browncoats)
Some days it's all teeth & toenails, but I'm hanging in there.
kyleri: (Default)
[personal profile] alatefeline reminded me I oughta post this one...

Since you mention it, I think I will start that race war.

I could’ve swung either way? But now I’m definitely spending
the next 4 years converting your daughters to lesbianism;
I’m gonna eat all your guns. Swallow them lock stock and barrel
and spit bullet casings onto the dinner table;


go read the rest here, it's appallingly good work

Major Tom

Jan. 25th, 2017 06:54 pm
kyleri: (Default)
(TL;DR he's okay, just gotta heal up)

So Major Tom our backyard not-really-very-feral-anymore tomcat has been having running battles with another large, probably male cat who wishes to move in on Tom's territory. Understandably so, cos Tom's territory is also our back yard & comes with food & water that's not frozen & also a nicely padded & sheltered warmy spot. We'd feed them both but, well, cats.

So we've been breaking it up when we hear them (& Major Tom has been grateful & actually shoved his head into my hand for a petting after the one time, which was a first) but, well, they're cats, things happen, & as of this time yesterday we hadn't seen Tom in more than two days. Not unusual over the summer but he's been at the back door for breakfast & a lil warms every morning, like unto clockwork.

...so yeah I was terrified, & had gotten to the point of going outside several times a day to check, & went out yesterday about this time to get some sandpaper, & just sadly said 'Tom', not even really calling him, just saying his name. & he said prrrrrow! & I GASPED & looked around & he said prrrrow! again & then I found him in the _second_ padded-doghouse-warmy-spot we'd set up in the hopes that Tom would let the other cat bunk down there.

(Spoilers that aren't: Tom has claimed both & switches between them depending on his mood.)

I was SO VERY glad to see him & bent down to pet him & tell him I had missed him & he ... wasn't putting any weight on his right forepaw.

So I hauled his butt inside (he'll grumble & complain but also let me carry him) & fed him (gooshyfud with EXTRA egg) & tried, very gently, to examine his paw. Which he was pretty NO about but not in the killing me sort of way because he is VERY very patient.

Dharma got home just then & between us we managed a look. He's torn his thumbclaw toe badly, though it isn't bleeding & doesn't feel infected, but his ... wrist? ... is swollen & we're pretty sure he has a broken bone in there somewhere.

Which...yeah. Taking him to the vet would involve money we don't have, cooperation he won't give, & a cast he'll remove with Great Prejudice. He didn't even want to stay inside once he'd eaten.

So he's got a choice of warmy spots (one of which even has a heating pad in it, which is good cos it's gonna be 6F Friday night). He's got kibble we refill daily, & water in a bowl that's in the warmy spot with the heating pad -- so it stays liquid. He gets gooshyfud with egg at least once a day, & he can come in & warm up when he asks (which he did this morning).

Also? He didn't immediately shock out, which isn't uncommon in small mammals who break a bone. He didn't lair up somewhere to wait to die. Near as I can tell he spent two days limping back here which just makes me cry because. He was feral & is still, really, he's never gonna be _tame_, but he trusts us & knows that we'll take care of him so we limped all that way, however far, on three legs, to get back to here where he knows it's safe.

...okay now I _am_ crying again.

We've done what we can for him. He'll heal, or not, or as much as he can. No matter how much or little that is, we'll take care of him; if he can't hunt any more, well, there's always more gooshyfud & egg.

Here's a picture from last week I took looking out the front cat door. That's not his real warmy spot but he does like a nap on the front porch from time to time. He made blinky eyes at me several times while I was getting pictures, but he didn't want to come in just then.

I peeked out the front cat door to get Major Tom peeking out of his OTHER warmy spot. Yeah, he has two. He made blinky eyes at me! #TheVagabondTabby #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #catsofig #bestcat #kitty #catlover #instacat #petsagram #catofthe

& here he is after I opened the door to get a different angle & he got up HUFF can't a guy SLEEP around here HUFF & before he demanded a PETTING IMMEDIATELY.

Course when I went outside to try to get a pic of Major Tom curled up in his warmy bed he got up all HUFF & wouldn't look at the camera. #TheVagabondTabby #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #catsofig #bestcat #kitty #catlover #instacat #petsagram #ca

Pls to observe the Very Skeptical Ears. & pls to pray, light candles, send good wishes, or whatever variant of that you like for my Great Big Fierce Tomcat.

sunsnow

Jan. 25th, 2017 06:52 pm
kyleri: (Default)
today i woke up in a horrible awful crappy mood & then read twitter which ... did not help.

so i was horrible & the world was horrible & everything was horrible but then i looked outside & the sun was out & also it was snowing?

so that was AWESOME

here is a picture!

2017-01-25 14.24.11

also a video that is not great but exists

sunsnow
kyleri: (Default)

there is a different green.

$5 from this (& from all my jewelry) will go to the ACLU • they’ve got a lot to get done


materials • a friend made the lampworked glass beads & gave them to me

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living


size • the entire piece is just about 2 1/4″ tall

• the copper u is a little under 1 1/2″ wide


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)

i’ve learned so much • from women of colour, queer folk, disabled people • their knowledge is not comfortable • but it is necessary • find them & listen • & learn

$10 from this will go to the ACLU • we’re gonna need them


materials • the jar had jelly in it once • it was really tasty jelly

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living

• the beads are from an old necklace my roommate gave me to take apart


size • the lantern is 3.75″ high (not counting the handle) • & almost three inches across at the top


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)

two of my favourite Nazi-punchers • together til the end of the line

$5 from this will go to the ACLU • they’ll do good things with it


materials • i found the seaglass while mudlarking along the banks of fountain creek in colorado • technically i suppose it’s creek glass

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living


size • the entire piece is just about 1.75″ tall • & 2.5″ wide


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)
so there's all this stuff showing up in my feed & i'm sure y'all are all WHAT

i'm making pretty jewelries & selling them & some of the money is going to the ACLU

(it was just gonna be yesterday, & then just this weekend, & then i said fuck it, gonna leave it up, they'll need it)

ANYWAY $5 from any of this jewelry goes to the ACLU

the window jewelry & the lanterns i haven't posted yet are more so $10 from each of those

have a look

2017-01-20 15.16.01

2017-01-20 14.20.42

2017-01-20 13.47.26

$15 so far & I'd like to send them a LOT LOT more money
kyleri: (Default)

because • donuts •

$5 from this goes to the ACLU • they might spend it on donuts • i’d be okay with that • they might need donuts


materials • i traded for the green glass donut with a friend of mine from colorado • she got lip balm • it works

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living


size • the entire piece is just about 2 1/2″ tall

• & about 1 3/4″ wide at its widest point


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)

red & blue • i forgot the white • close enough • Cap wouldn’t mind i think


materials • i traded soap to a friend for the beads

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living


size • the entire piece is just about 1 1/2″ tall • & about 1″ wide


Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)
& also forgetting to post for, like, days.

Cut wood, schlep wood. Cut wood, schlep wood. Looked at bow saws, but all of them are built for people with bigger thands than me -- & I don't have small paws. This makes me cranky.

Made a lot of soap. Got a bunch of pictures taken, & posted a couple new things to the shop -- pinon resin & juniper berries, which I'm selling as incense ingredients, though there are lots of other things you can use em for. More pictures to edit & post, little by little.

I'm getting the new set of shelves painted & put up -- I should get pictures & post all that, actually. My living space is slowly becoming nicer.

Today I pretty much sat over my roommate & said okay, do this computer thing you haven't been getting round to doing, now call this guy, now do that thing. It's not that she doesn't wanna; she's just got PTSD, three years' worth of backlog paperwork, & a brain that's intermittently made of cream cheese. I'm working on helping her dig out, & in the process figure systems of Doing the Things that work for her.

It's a slow process -- there's a LOT to dig out -- & we're different enough that a lot of the systems that work for me aren't gonna work for her, or aren't the best. But some of them are better than nothing, & I know lots of other systems to try. It turns out 'make system that works' is a specialty of mine, & a damned useful one.

Tomorrow we're gonna take on her desk. This will not involve her sitting at her desk, because her desk is still not a good headspace for her. Which is SO TOTALLY not what would work for me. But (& here is the tricky thing!) she is not me, & therefore different things will work!

(In fact, I'm thinking of advising her to get rid of the desk, or at least use it only for flat-surface things like packaging orders, & get a fancy Victorian fainting couch to use for her command center. Because she works as well in 'comfy chair with laptop on lap' as I do 'at desk with laptop on desk'.)

(Because we are not the same people.)

(Also, Victorian fainting couch, just sayin.)
kyleri: (Default)

wildharvested, wildcrafted • or if you prefer • pickin greens • these are more sort of purpley-blue tho

anyways you’ll get an ounce (by weight) of dried juniper berries • (the pile in the second pic is about an ounce • for reference) • which i’ve harvested with GREAT CARE • from juniper trees here in the east mountains of new mexico • (some of em wound up on the ground anyways • don’t worry you won’t get those)

so you’re all but • what do i do with the stuff? • you can use it in incense • potpourri • grind em up & put em in soap • make a tincture & use that in lotion • juST FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T EAT EM • some juniper berries are pretty edible & some aren’t • i’m pretty sure these are the ‘aren’t’

i haven’t processed or treated the berries in any way • (other than to try to pick out some of the juniper needles • there’ll still be some in there though probably) • no pesticides or anything on the trees • all i’ve done is water each tree I harvested berries from • i mean that seemed fair?


ingredients • juniper berries

size • 1 oz (by weight)

handmade • natural • crap free • guaranteed

Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)

wildharvested, wildcrafted • or if you prefer • pickin greens • well, more sort of browns in this case •


anyways you’ll get an ounce (by weight) of piñon resin • (each of the little piles in the first pic is about an ounce • for reference) • which i’ve harvested with GREAT CARE • from piñon pine trees here in the east mountains of new mexico • (i didn’t want to stab the trees in the process you see • that would be unkind)


you’ll get some bigger pieces • & some smaller pieces • if you buy more than one ounce at a time • i’ll try to find you a BIG BIG piece • (those are kinda cool)


so you’re all but • what do i do with the stuff? • it makes happy-smelling incense • (sacred stuff in more than one tradition) • it’s also helpful for starting fires • (burning things: a definite theme here) • BUT it’s also useful in making salves • (ofc i’ve got one in process • you can play along tho)


i haven’t processed or treated the resin in any way • (other than to try to pick off some of the bark • there’ll still be some on there though probably) • no pesticides or anything on the trees • all i’ve done is water each tree I harvested resin from • i mean that seemed fair?



ingredients • piñon pine resin


size • 1 oz (by weight)


handmade • natural • crap free • guaranteed


find it here

kyleri: (Default)
it wasn't me this time, i've been all chopping wood & painting things & *grunt* *grunt*

go ye forth to [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith's place & read The Earth Laughs which i think is now my favourite take on the Demeter end of the Demeter & Persephone myth

it is a happiness
kyleri: an orange tabbycat, in a basket worn on the back of a person who isn't really in the picture. (basket)
Along the lines of the Little Free Library & the Little Free Seed Library (& the standard free box) comes the Little Free Pantry, because we gotta take care of each other, because nobody else is gonna.

I wish this sort of thing werent so badly needed. I wish it could be a 'here is a new thing I like that you haven't tried, try some'. But here we are. I'm gonna see about doing one here. Just because not as many people walk by here as they do in more urban areas doesn't mean it isn't needed.
kyleri: (Default)
One of my weekly rituals is a clearing of the decks -- I catch up on email, get the week's sales (if any) properly recorded, figure out what I've got planned for the next week, & generally clean & straighten. It gives me a pretty clean slate for the rest of the week, & I just deal with life much better if my Things are in their Places.

I usually do this on Mondays, but yesterday was the protest (& naught else), so clearing the decks got rescheduled to today, & that's what I did. It's a methodical sort of thing, going through the steps, & most of it doesn't require a lot of brain cells, which is kind of nice.

I try to take some time during the day to finish a small project or two, as well. Today I finished cleaning the old label gunk off of the tester bottle of my Long Day Fighting muscle rub; some of the oil had spilled & the label wasn't looking terribly professional. I put the new labels on & the small sticker that says 'tester'; in a couple days, once I'm quite sure everything has stuck properly, I'll add some clearcoat just to keep the label looking nice longer. The testers get bounced around a lot, travelling to one show or another.

I also got a load of laundry done & hung up, & wrote a letter (handwritten! a physical letter!) to a friend, because sometimes that's a pretty fun thing.

I'm pretty pleased with the day. I got a lot of things done & out of the way, leaving a clean slate for what I've got going the rest of the week.
kyleri: (Default)
Yesterday was the #DayAgainstDenial protest in Albuquerque (& all over the country -- there were a LOT of them). Some of the speakers were good, one was whiteguy manplainey. Then we marched, me with my drum to keep the rhythm & my boy in my back basket:

15970498_10208092619249495_547913799_n

The chants were somewhat erratic but heartfelt & the signs were GREAT. I need a way to strap my doumbek to me so I'm not holding its entire weight in my left arm. My shoulders hurt a LOT when I was done.

We ended the march right in front of Conchita's Cafe, which I hadn't had a chance to get to yet, so we rewarded the boy for his patience with sour cream:

15942463_10208092616929437_41668565_n

This was his third protest. He's getting pretty good at them!

Then we went home & I basically went to bed at, like, 2:30. I hadn't realized how chilled I was & it took me like an hour to warm up. Fortunately I hadn't planned anything else for the day -- if I'm doing a protest, that's the _only_ thing I schedule on that day, because yes, I can march, & yes, it takes a LOT out of me. I got up long enough to have dinner & a HOThot bath, climbed back in bed, & was so deep asleep this morning it took me five minutes to remember how to operate my body _after_ I'd opened my eyes.

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kyleri

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