kyleri: (Default)
2017-08-15 09:35 pm
Entry tags:



*flappyhands* *running in circles* aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

more later
kyleri: (Default)
2017-08-10 05:55 pm

leashcats r us

You are correct in your perception that this is not Loiosh.

Cos there’s Loiosh, right there.

Also, you’re right, that’s not Chocolate.

Cos this cat is way too fuzzy too be Chocolate.

That’s cos it’s Hades. We’re watching him for friends for a while, & he is the Most Mellow cat, so I thought, well, let’s see how this goes.

Turns out it’s going pretty well.

This was Hades’ first trip up into the woods. He wasn’t real sure about this stuff at first, but his buddy Loiosh thinks it’s just fine, so it must be okay.

(Seriously, every time we take him out, he watches Loiosh, & when he decides Loiosh is okay with it, well, it’s obviously okay.)

So there was a lot of climbing on rocks…

(okay, also under them)

some hunkering on rocks

also generally some farting around. Like a lot of cats, it turns out, Hades will pretty happily follow along behind when I’m walking, especially along a trail. We ran into a couple other people, who happily handed out pettings. So Hades had a fun time on his first trip into the woods.

Also I found a cool bug.

Loiosh got to pose.

& there was a rock with fossils!

& of course the traditional loot photo.

Hades had a great time, so there’ll be more of this. It’s possible — not sure yet, but it’s possible — he’ll even be at Battlemoor.

Here’s hoping.

kyleri: (Default)
2017-08-07 03:21 pm
Entry tags:

habit-forming chicken

it is monday, & we are here

monday being when i plan to do these, which does not mean that they will always happen on monday, because Stuff Happens, also All Timing is Right Timing

but today it is happening in a monday, & we are here.

what works?

taking my time. doing it right. half a thing at a time. catching up before i start new stuff.

next time i might ...

remember that when i have 'get offline' as a self-care Thing for the week, it helps if i do, in fact, get offline

the hard

Medium-Sized Child is, in fact, a teenager (or nearly so), & all that comes with that. a breath for not duct-taping him to anything.

dealing with others' expectations in reference to what i will be able to do in support of said child, which is actually I Have Cats They Can Feed Themselves & also Hey Kid, Here's A Can Of Chef Boyardee Food. I'll hang out with him, I'll big-sibling him, I ain't parenting him, cos Bad Things. A breath for This Is Why I Didn't Have Children.

Medium-Sized Child's mother, who is SO MANY problem, she's parentifying him, she lets him watch all kinda rated R movies with neither supervision nor discussion, she goes from nothin to yell, & then she's All Surprised when he acts up. A breath for We Cannot Steal This Kid, Probably.

managing my own expectations while helping Dharma go through/sort/winnow her Stuff, which there is quite a lot of, with the goal of making it make more sense, be more accessible, & also for there to be Less of it. She keeps things that have me going 'what why would you even'. & this is okay, they are her things! She is allowed to do this! & getting all cranky about it does not help anyone.

the good

there is, in fact, less Stuff than there was! & my roommate is happy with the way she is dealing with her Stuff! a breath for things working right.

Roommate & I are in agreement about Medium-Sized Child's Mother, & will be working in firm agreement to resist her attempts to horn in on the house we're hoping to buy. o.0 A breath for unison NOPE.

when I explained to my roommate that i can barely keep myself fed & attempts to put me in charge of feeding Medium-Sized Child will result in him being hungry & me being under the bed, she fed both of us. A breath for dinner & also for people who listen when i say a thing.

Medium-Sized Child (who is back with his mother for the week, alas, because summer school) really is a pretty okay kid, & the more time he gets to spend here, the more okay he'll be. funny how he doesn't seem to have meltdowns when his mom isn't around... a breath for Yeah Maybe This Is All Right.

also my oldmancat is recovering VERY well, he's eating more, giving me more vigorous headbonks, he smells better, he's happier. he's currently snoring on the comfy cushion on the bed. happy oldmancat. happy momma. a breath for happy.

the plan

Battlemoor's coming. Do Battlemoor prep. Take a lot of deep breaths. It'll be okay.

kyleri: two cats, one orange, one black, curled up together in a round cat bed (caaaats)
2017-08-04 01:13 pm

take one oldmancat, subtract teeth

Most of em, anyway. The ones that were left. All eight of em.

(okay this picture isn’t really related but he did fall asleep sitting up over his food bowl, pretty adorably)

a small black cat, sitting up but with head drooping & eyes closed, over a bowl of food

His teeth had been bothering him for, well, probably longer than I knew about, but I admit I didn’t do anything about it for a LONG time, cos I knew it’d require full anesthesia, & well. He’s NINETEEN. That’s a little terrifying.

But I finally worked up my courage (& the money, a not inconsiderable sum) & made the appointment. He went in a week & some ago for a pre-op checkup, during which the vet asked me three times if I was sure about his age. Also he climbed up on her shoulder & flopped there, quite comfortably, which made me feel a little less terrified about the whole thing.

(also not related, but warm oldmancat flopped on warm laundries, definitely adorable)

a small black cat, flopped quite comfortably in a pile of many-coloured laundry

& then Monday morning he went in for the Great Detoothing. They asked me to leave a phone number, which I did, but also I told them I was staying there until he was done, which surprised them. I’m not sure why. I mean, I was going to do anything other than worry? I might as well worry there.

There was occasional oldmancat shouting from in back, & eventually the vet came out to tell us that he was doing fine & they’d cleaned three of his teeth & the other five were, indeed, going to have to come out. I nodded, slightly relieved.

Some time later she returned to say that the teeth were out, he was recovering fine, & he just needed to sleep it off, but the worst was over. At which point I decided it was safe to go home, & slept for four hours straight until it was time to pick him up.

…see, I hadn’t slept the night _before_, due partly to worrying, but mostly to the fact that I couldn’t feed him after 9pm, which gave him reason to shout. The whole. Night. Long.

Anyway, sleep. Followed by driving down to pick him up. Followed by climbing back into bed with him, at least once I’d removed his very stylish IV bandage.

A small black cat with a red bandage (very stylish indeed) wrapped around his foreleg. He looks less than thrilled.

They even used his signature red!

He was very happy to be home & expressed this by very deliberately flopping where he could rest various parts of him on various parts of me.

A small black cat, eyes closed, chin resting on the hand of a white person. The cat is quite vigorously asleep.

Also, there was eating. In a clearly-less-ow sort of way.

This time he's awake, & his face is firmly in the food bowl.

But mostly, there was flopping. & in fact, we really didn’t get up til the next morning.

Still vigorously asleep, this time with a forepaw stretched out, holding firmly to the hand, which likely belongs to the same white person.

I mean who’d want to get up when there’s an oldmancat wanting to hold paws?

kyleri: (Default)
2017-08-02 11:56 am
Entry tags:

revitalizing chicken

(in the style of Havi's weekly chicken (which you might pronounce check-in but only if you wanted to))

it is wednesday, & we are here

a breath for wednesday, & for all timing is right timing

(oh holy cats i have needed to do this SO SO MUCH)

what works?

half a thing at a time. many deep breaths. (so many deep breaths.) remembering i don't have to do it all now.

next time i might ...

remember sooner that i am not the only one involved in the things

the hard:

worrying SO SO MUCH about Chocolate's tooth thing, i know anesthesia is pretty safe these days even for Very Old Cats, but he is a Very Old Cat, & so i worried (spoilers: he's fine, more later): a breath for what will be is what will be, & for acceptance

friends' house burned down; humans are okay, dog is okay, turtle is okay ... cats are not. they lost their two cats. which is about them NOT ME & so this is not a Hard for me; what is hard is that the house is on fire, i am not home to get the cats out, or (back in the horrible-messy-house days with the Horrible Ex) cannot get to them because there is SO MUCH SHIT all over the place, this is a HORROR to me: a breath for now is not then, & for i do what i can

due to said fire, we were asked to house said friends' 12-year-old kid; Roommate dropped me off at the thing I was doing & headed off to get said kid (with my agreement). I'd been under the impression that she would expedite the errand; she did not, leaving me literally standing in the rain. (Didn't help I'd forgotten my cell phone.) We have VERY different definitions of how important it is to do the thing that you said you would do, as opposed to dealing with things that come up, & honestly I shouldn't have agreed to this. But I felt very abandoned & unimportant at the time. Also, wet: A breath for it's over, we'll talk about it, & next time, cell phone.

the good:

my oldmancat came through the surgery JUST FINE, is MUCH happier without the hurting teeth, is eating kibble again (though still quite happy to get his Magic Gooshyfud). he's FINE. i am SO SO fucking relieved. a breath for my precious boy.

said 12-year-old, of whom we have custody until his parents have got some things figured out & generally dealt with, is a good kid. i like him a lot. having him around is nearly always fun. a breath for good company & being able to provide safety.

the turtle is okay. we also have temporary custody of the turtle, who's in a habitat thag is makeshift but larger than she's used to, with good dirt. she is digging holes & burrows & very happy. a breath for here, in the face of tragedy, is a thing that i can do.

the plan:

small steps. tiny steps. catch up. hold my oldmancat. hold my baby boy. do my deep breathing. ease back into things.

kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-29 07:04 pm

shoes, & accidental crossroads offerings

so like two months back i finally got a new pair of keens

keens are, like, my FAVOURITES, they’re basically the only shoes i wear • except for sometimes flipflops around the yard & snow boots if the snow’s too deep • (yeah, if it’s only an inch or two i’m still wearing sandals, cope)

just in time, my old pair had finally fallen apart • literally, two shoes into four pieces • they lasted SO LONG though • i’d had them since 2012 & they were in fact basically the only shoes i wore for five years straight • did i mention i bought them used? • & yeah five years of being p much my only shoes

the things LAST is what i’m saying

so i’m happily running around in my pretty new PURPLE keens & everything is good • the old pair sort of tucked near the front door • kept not getting round to chucking them • i was cleaning up round the front door one day • carried them over to the trash can • couldn’t do it

i finally realized • they’d served me so well • i had to do a Thing for them

so i dug a hole & gave them an honourable burial

San-San helped, or possibly halped

i piled rocks over them to make a caern

& of course i did this all at the crossroads • ofc, that’s only appropriate • right?

this won’t result in accidentally crossroads magic, right? • right?

(it might result in accidentally crossroads magic)

kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-24 01:19 pm

Poem: What keeps me going

“What keeps you going isn't some fine destination but just the road you're on, and the fact that you know how to drive. You keep your eyes open, you see this damned-to-hell world you got born into, and you ask yourself, 'What life can I live that will let me breathe in & out and love somebody or something and not run off screaming into the woods?'”

― Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

What keeps me going?
The smallest of things:
A bed full of cats,
A sewing project or two,
The perfect background music.

What keeps me going?
It's simple enough:
The wings of birds,
A flick of a lizard's tail,
The incoming rain.

What keeps me going?
It's just little things:
A perfectly hot bath,
Houseplants to care for,
A hearty, tasty meal.

What keeps me going?
The most vital of things:
Taking the hand of a friend,
Listening to the world's stories,
A chance to create beauty.
kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-22 04:26 pm

a day in the life (mostly cat pictures)

i’ve been working on my display stuff lately • it’s needed it • touching up & toughening up & generally a lot of painting

also in this case i wanted to make nice dividers to hold the massage oils & body sprays, cos that’ll make things better

& then layers of clearcoat until no matter what i drop it on it’ll still look awesome

anyways there was that but also, there were cats

Hades (Guest Cat in Residence) found a box

he said ‘I am stays right here, it is comfy’ & what he’s laying on is coiled-up rope, so he probably actually is

Major Tom (can’t call him feral any more!) has been sneezing a LOT so i’ve been giving him allergy meds

it’s easier getting pills into him than it is with like half the cats _in_ the house • but that doesn’t mean he was pleased with me right afterwards, either

fortunately his attention span is brief

i mean look how feral this guy is

gonna take my hand off any minute now

he _did_ growl at me for rubbing his belly • after a couple minutes anyway

then we held paws

seriously, this cat

also there was weather

or maybe not, this is New Mexico after all

(there was crackBOOOOOOOOOM later but i was done painting by then so it was fine)

(the boxes came out looking really great too)

(& Major Tom is sneezing much less today)

kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-17 12:01 pm

guess what I GOT LOOT

so there was a THING in the MAIL

(okay i knew it was coming cos my friend alatefeline asked if they could send me Stuff)

(i always like Stuff)

such awesome Stuff!

pretty beads that are blue & white & greeny & silver

plus a BROWN PAPER PACKAGE TIED UP IN STRING (my favourite thing) (yes, everything including the string & the brown paper will get used)

that had COOL ROCKS & an ORIGAMI SWAN & some cool wire things in shapes that i will make things out of & plastic bits that are purple & green, i think the green thing came from a computer

(the yellow stuff is wax, they used it to hold things in place so the Stuff wouldn’t rattle, yes even that’s gonna get used)

SO MUCH COOL THING. thank you alatefeline!

kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-12 06:14 pm


[personal profile] temve maded me a LEMON POUCH it is happy

2017-07-12 18.14.44Save
kyleri: (Default)
2017-07-09 10:03 pm

(no subject)

i'm just so tired

WHICH it turns out is because IN ADDITION to having asthma, i also have lost some lung function due to living in:

1) Bethlehem, PA, in the smoke cloud of Bethlehem Steel;

2) the 'Orrible Ex's grandparents old house that he bought, which, i found out after i left his ass, had sort of a toxic waste dump in the basement; AND

3) the House of Gaslighting & Cat Pee.

so when breathing is hard, once gets tired, because, as it turns out, you can't just stop for a while to get a damn break.

so yeah i have some opinions about this, which basically boil down to 'this sucks' & also 'no FUCKING wonder'. part of me of course is having the usual conversation in my head with my mom in which no matter what i say she just tells me that if i just lost some weight blar blar blar. i just, i LIKE walking, i want to be able to go walking, it's just that breathing.


EDITED TO ADD that my thumb is now slightly out of joint & won't go back in WHERE ARE OUR ROBOT BODIES
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-26 06:15 pm


life persists

$10 from this will go to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico • trans people being kinda liminal & all • seemed appropriate

materials • i found the heavy steel wire along the side of the road

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living

• i think some of it is a paperclip, who knows where i got that thing

• i found the hoop in, like, the garage maybe?

size • the hoop is 8.25″ across

Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-20 02:05 pm

yeah, i poemed

in reponse to this lovely bit on Terri Windling's blog; here is a bit of what I was replying to:

"Art slips through, and us with it -- slips past the border police and the currency controls, to talk as we've always wanted to, about matters of the spirit and the heart, to imagine a world not dominated by numbers, to find in colors and poetry and sand an equivalence to our deepest feelings, a language for who we are." -- Jeanette Winterson, published in The World Split Open

Art Slips Through

there are always cracks
no matter how high the wall,
how strong the barricades,
no matter how carefully written
the unjust laws, how many
faceless soldiers they find
to enforce their brutish rule
(the soldiers are not faceless,
the blockades always leak;
we always find a way)

art slips through.
graffiti'd words on an underpass,
spoken word in a underground cafe,
scrap paper woodblock printed
or run off on an old ditto machine
(remember the smell?
those things last forever
it's a good thing;
we use what we have)

art slips through
secrets coded in woven fabric
a call to resist in the words of a song
a new way of looking at the world
in stories told by the old
(never think that revolution
is only the province of the young
we come in all sizes, all ages)

art slips through,
through the gaps in the canon stories,
the only ones that are authorized,
that only the authorized may tell;
through the quiet between the songs,
the only ones allowed to be played
on the only radio station
that's allowed to broadcast
(good thing we had
that pirate radio station
back then,
it was good practice)

art slips through.
there are always gaps,
always cracks.
there's always an underpass
nobody's watching,
always a soldier
(not faceless at all)
who'll let that whistled tune
slip by,
always a place
you can leave your stack
of scrap paper,
hand printed zines,
where they will be found
by those who need to read
the things we are writing.
there is always a way.
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-19 04:26 pm

can’t stop the signal

they can try all they want to keep us down • we won’t be silenced

$5 from this will go to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico • trans people being kinda liminal & all • seemed appropriate

materials • the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living

size • the entire piece is 3 3/4″ tall & 1 1/2″ wide

Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-16 08:12 pm

(no subject)

stupid boobs, can i just not

mostly i want top surgery because: dysphoria

this time of year it is 90% because: run around outside topless

yeah it is 'legal' in many places for 'women' to go outside topless BUT


2) too many asshole cis guys assholing
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-12 01:13 pm

sweat, tears, or the sea

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea. – Isak Dinesen

sometimes the way to deal with the overwhelming horribleness is to do a thing about it • sometimes we need to take time to mourn • sometimes we just need to get away

$5 from this will go to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico • trans people being kinda liminal & all • seemed appropriate

materials • i traded for the bluegreen glass donut with a friend of mine from colorado • she got lip balm • it works

• the copper wire was gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who salvages it from the generators he repairs for a living

size • the entire piece is just under 3″ tall

• & about an inch wide at its widest point

Originally published at The Vagabond Tabby. You can comment here or there.

kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-11 03:37 pm

jewelry & donations

note mostly to self: still gotta send the ACLU $20 & that'll be finished

but NOW i am sending all the donations from people buying my jewelry to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico, which has their center right here in Albuquerque.

i wanted to support something smaller & more local than the ACLU; they're fine & all, & also they are already getting a zillion bucks from all over the country, basically they're doing p okay these days

but trans people? we're still getting thrown under the bus on the regular. i've heard too many stories this weekend about Pride stuff that stopped after the LG & forgot the BT, nevermind the Q, A, & everyone else. trans people still take way too much shit.

& the TGRCNM is RIGHT HERE. like they're having a nonbinary support group thing tomorrow night & i might go. they probably get like thirty-four cents in donations a month & what i might be able to scrape up for them is likely to make an actual difference. (okay I'm p sure they're getting more than than but even so.)

so today i did all the tedious editingstuff i needed to do to get that going (& now my eyes are sort of crossing, ow)

anyway if you want pretties made out of trash & shit & also want to support trans folk in New Mexico in a semi-direct sort of way y'all head over here, i'm tryna post a new piece every week or so, it'll be AWESOME
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-09 05:31 pm

(no subject)

My friend [personal profile] sithjawa lives in southern California & does plant things, including growing seedlings & doing grafts of rare fruits. (I admit that I do not entirely understand this, you are probably best off looking at their posting.)

Which is here, where they offer to propagate treens and/or vines upon request. Basically, if you're in the southern CA area & like cool fruiting plants, go look at their post.
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-09 12:03 pm

(no subject)

Ever tried to catch
a butterfly? It's a tricky thing;
so light, the least breeze or breath
wafts it away, up, down,
over there, where has it
gone, I see it! There! Perhaps
it will land, on a flower, on your hand,
on the page, to settle there;
perhaps it will float off,
caught in the least breeze,
the too-quickly taken breath.
But wait a moment, wait two,
perhaps the breeze will bring it round again.
kyleri: (Default)
2017-06-08 11:59 am

(no subject)

a friend of mine made a villanelle, go look